Thank you to everyone who has bought Glen's book 'No fear in Death'.  We have received such encouraging comments and feedback about it.

The family would ask that if the book has made you think about the questions we all wrestle with - who is Jesus?  What has He done for me? What are the implications for me both in life and in death?  Then our prayer is that as Ephesians 3: vs 14-22 explains that you will come 'to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.'

Since Glen went to live in heaven, life has been difficult, our grief deep but we have a God who loves us with such compassion and has given us to strength, initially to live through the sprints towards all the 'firsts' and now will continue to help as live out the marathon of life without someone who was greatly loved.

If the book has made you think - find a local church, email al@graceinthecommunity.org or leave a comment on the blog and we will try and help.

Blog Being Published

Glen's blog is in the process of being published by www.10ofthose.com.  We will let you have more details in the next month as to exactly when it will be released and how to get hold of a copy.

Thanksgiving Service

If you click on the link you can listen to the mp3 of the the full Thanksgiving Service for Glen. Thanksgiving

This is not goodbye it is goodnight

Friday was the cremation and thanksgiving service for Glen in Liverpool.  It was a time of sadness and tears but also a time of laughter and hope, as we were reminded we were not saying goodbye to Glen but goodnight see you in the morning.

Often we hear such things spoken as a vague wish much as a child may make a wish when they blow a candle out on their birthday cake, but this was not a paper thin wish.  It was a hope with all the confidence and power of God Almighty behind it!  We said goodnight to Glen knowing with certainty that the almighty creator of the universe who by his mighty power raised his Son from the dead has promised that Jesus is just the first of those who put their faith in him to fall asleep before waking in his presence.  Our hope as we said goodbye was as concrete as the physical and historical resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Thankfulness to God is what marked the service on Friday.  Thankfulness to God for the gift of Glen to Anne, to his family and to those of us who had the privilege of knowing him, thankfulness to God for saving Glen by faith in Jesus, thankfulness for God's faithfulness in keeping Glen through his battle with cancer, and thankfulness that this was not a final goodbye but a hope filled goodnight see you in the morning.

Two passages from the bible which meant a lot to Glen were read:

Romans 5:1-11"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;  perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

 You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.  Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him!  For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!  Not only is this so, but we also boast in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation."

1 John 4:7-21
"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.  This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.  This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.  Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.  No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

 This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit.  And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world.  If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God.  And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.  This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus.  There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

 We love because he first loved us.  If we say we love God yet hate a brother or sister, we are liars. For if we do not love a fellow believer, whom we have seen, we cannot love God, whom we have not seen.  And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love one another."

There was a realism about the suffering Glen faced, a realism about the questions we are left with, and a realism about the need to grieve a life full yet short, and there was a realism about hope - the distinctive hope of those who trust in Jesus as their Saviour, a hope that is a confident expectation that this was not a goodbye but a temporary goodnight see you in the morning.

Knowing Glen and his passion for Jesus there is one last thing he would want me to ask.  Can you face death with that same hope?  It is not something you can summon or create within yourself but which comes through faith in Jesus, the one who died for us to bring us back to a God who loves us.  Why not explore that hope by reading one of the gospels and asking yourself who Jesus is?  Or by finding a good church where they teach the bible near you to go to and ask that question - who is Jesus who brings hope even in the face of death?

Therefore encourage one another with these words

Dear all this morning Glen went to be with his Saviour and Lord.  He and those with him had been listening to the words of John Newton's hymn Amazing Grace:

1. Amazing grace-how sweet the sound-
that saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found;
was blind, but now I see.

2. T'was grace that taught my heart to fear,
his grace my fears relieved;
how precious did that grace appear
the hour I first believed!

3. Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'tis grace has brought me safe this far
and grace will lead me home.

4. When we've been there ten thousand years
bright shining as the sun,
we've no less days to sing God's praise
than when we've first begun.

I know that many of you will feel as I do a great sense of sadness and loss at the passing of a loved friend, one who warmed our hearts with his quick smile, funny turn of phrase and infectious sense of humour.  But I think what I will miss most of all is his passion to see others come to know his Saviour and his desire to help, spur on and encourage those of us who shared that love of Jesus with him.

Please in the midst of your grief remember Anne and the family.  I was reading these words of Paul this morning:

"Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest, who have no hope.  We believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.  According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep.  For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.  After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.  Therefore encourage one another with these words."  1 Thessalonians 4v13-18

Glen has fallen asleep in Christ and we who grieve have a hope that makes our grief distinctive, we grieve our loss but know that to die has been Glen's gain and that one day we will see him again when Christ comes or calls.  It is this hope which is the consolation of all who mourn those who trust in Jesus as their Saviour, and it is this hope we are to encourage one another with in our loss.

Prayer:  Father God we want to thank you for the life of Glen, thank you for everything about him which made him him.  His willingness to dive right in and enjoy life, his readiness to laugh and make others laugh along with him, his love and care of others, his passionate conviction and loving service of his Saviour.  Thank you that you have taken him home beyond all pain and suffering.

Father we pray for Anne, Ruth, Michael and the rest of the family we ask that you would sustain them with your word and by your Spirit through your people.  Thank you that they know they do not grieve without hope.

Amen

Update - Wednesday 1st June

Thank you for all your prayers, the transfer to the hospice went well and he is settled there and seems more comfortable.  It is also a good environment for family and friends as they say goodbye to Glen.

Please be continuing to pray for Anne and the family as they spend time with Glen, there have been moments of laughter even in Glen's final days which for so many of us will be the way we remember him.  It is a real blessing for them to have those moments in this situation.

In John's gospel and chapter 11 we see the authority and power of Jesus over death, Lazarus Jesus friend has died and as he speaks to Martha his grieving sister he says these words:  "Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even though they die;  and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”

Jesus then goes on to prove who he is by raising a four day dead Lazarus back to life again, but interestingly he comforts Martha not with a promise of what he is about to do but what he will ultimately do, what he does now for everyone who trusts in him.  Death is not the end for Jesus, so it is not the end for Lazarus and it will not be the end for Glen, because whoever lives by believing in Jesus will never die.

And that is the comfort for Anne and the family.  It is not a comfort that the pain will lessen over time though it may, it is the comfort that is found in Jesus words:   "Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”  Which was true of Glen who believed even in the face of his living for Christ with cancer.

But notice Jesus ends by posing a question, how would you answer it?  How you do determines whether you have hope or not.

Prayer: Father God thank you that because Jesus is the resurrection and the life we can entrust Glen into your care knowing that he is falling asleep in you and will awaken into your presence.  Thank you that you have conquered every illness and even death itself in Jesus.  Father we pray practically that Glen would be comfortable and that you would take him to be with you where he will know that he is more than a conqueror in you.

Father thank you too that the comfort we have to share is the comfort of a hope that is certain because it is grounded in the life, actions, death, and resurrection of our Saviour.  And we ask that you would comfort Anne and the rest of the family with your word and your work in Jesus.
Amen.

Update - Tuesday 31st May

Glen is being moved to the hospice today and the family are travelling over to Liverpool to say their good byes.  In the midst of this sorrow God is still good and there are comforts for both Glen and them even in this situation.  Whilst Glen is unable to talk and is paralysed on his right side he is more settled and calmer than he has been and has enjoyed having the bible read to him and a visit from his pastor.  It is a great reassurance to know that he has hope even now.

I would ask you to pray today that the transfer goes well and does not cause any discomfort and that Glen settles quickly at the hospice, pray too for the family on what is going to be a very hard day for them, pray that they would know God's comfort and his strength.

Romans 8v31-39 says: "What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?  Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies.  Who then can condemn? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.  Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?  As it is written:
“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”
 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

We are confident as Glen enters his final days that even now his and our Saviour is in heaven interceding for Glen, for the family and for us.  We are confident that nothing (not paralysis, not cancer, and not death) shall separate Glen or his family from the love of God that they have experienced, are experiencing, and will experience in Jesus Christ.

Prayer: Father God we pray for Glen this afternoon, asking that the transfer to the hospice would go well, and that he would quickly be comfortable and at peace there.  Thank you that even now your word means so much to him and we ask that he would continue to treasure your promises.  We pray for the family today as they go to say their good byes to a loved son and brother who has blessed them, encouraged them, spurred them on and so often made them laugh.  Father we know that those who hope in you grieve differently but we still grieve and we pray that you would be with them as they grieve and say good bye today.  Father, when that is done we would ask that you show mercy to our brother and friend and that he would suffer no more.

Hope in a Hopeless situation

Dear all, I've been asked to write this blog by Glen's mum.  The weekend has been hard, Glen had another fit and has been in hospital since, he has not really recovered from this second fit and has not been coherent since.  Yesterday a scan on Glen's brain revealed a number of additional tumours, including a large one at the front of his brain.  These tumours mean that no further treatment is possible and in all probability that Glen does not have long left until God calls to take him to be with him.

Glen is sleeping a lot, but seems to like to know that there are people in the room with him.  They are waiting for a hospice space to be organised so that he can be moved.  These are words that many of us had hoped and prayed that we would never have to write or to read, but they are not words without hope.

The Apostle Paul in Romans 5:1-11 "¹Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, ²through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. ³Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
⁶You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. ⁸But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
⁹Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! ¹⁰For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! ¹¹ Not only is this so, but we also boast in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation."

This is the hope that Glen, Anne, Ruth and the family have in this situation.  It is not a vague hope but one grounded in God showing his love for them in sending his Son Jesus Christ to die for Glen, so that he is made right with God (justified) can enjoy a relationship with God (reconciled) and a certain hope that he will see God face to face healed and liberated from every physical ailment.  The cancer will not win God will.

I would ask you to pray this evening for Glen, that God in his mercy would ensure that he does not suffer and take him home.  I would ask you to pray to for Anne, Ruth and the rest of the family, that they would know the certainty of their hope in Christ.

I know Glen would want me to ask this of those for whom death is a terrifying thing.  What is your hope?  You can know the same hope that Glen knows by trusting Glen's saviour for yourself.

Prayer:  Father God we come to you with heavy to hearts and bring our loved friend Glen to you.  We pray that you would be merciful to him and take him home to be with you.  We pray for his family may they know your strength at this time we ask, may the hope that Glen has and they share sustain them.  And may they know your love for them by your Spirit and through your people.  Amen.

Saturday 28th May - A journey

Hi this is Glen's mum posting the blog. Glen came out of hospital this morning, after Anne staying with him. They were both tired and ready for the comforts of their own home and bed. Majority of the day has been sleeping, showering and bathing. This afternoon one of Glen's very good friends, Niall, has called into visit him.

Anne has just called me to say that she left Glen sleeping upstairs, went up to check on him and he was having another fit. So off to hospital again. The Doctor has sent him for a another brain scan and they are concerned again that something is happening.

Bible Reading - Psalm 62 Vs 5 -8 - 'Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I shall not be shaken. My salvation and my honour depend on God, he is my mighty rock; my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge' As we walk this journey with Glen and Anne pray that God would be both theirs and ours rock and salvation.

Pray - Please pray especially for Anne as she loves, cares and supports Glen. Pray for her as she has to make decisions for both of them whilst Glen is ill. Give thanks that God brought them together and how they illuminate God's love for us through their marriage. Pray for wisdom for the medical staff as they treat Glen. Pray that they would also be sensitive to Anne's needs and health. Pray for Glen's health, which over the last few weeks has changed. Pray for the Dr's meeting on Tuesday. As his mum please pray for both Glen and Anne's family as we walk this journey with them. Pray that we would encourage and bear with one another.

Friday 27th May - God is listening

Hi this is Glen's mum writing the blog tonight. It has been another difficult day for Glen and Anne. This morning Glen had a small fit and Anne rang the ambulance to take him to hospital, as he was slow in coming around. There was concern that this meant that his brain, which had been stable a few weeks ago, had changed and that he might also have a chest infection. The Dr's sent him for a chest x-ray and for a brain scan.

God has yet again answered our prayers as the brain scan shows no difference to the one undertaken a few weeks ago. Glen is staying in hospital overnight, and they have very kindly arranged for him to be moved to a side room so that Anne can stay with him tonight. If he has no further fits then he should be able to come out tomorrow. They are also starting him on meds to make sure he has no further fits.

The last few weeks has been quite a rollercoaster for Glen and Anne, but through the fiery furnace walk they have kept God at the centre of their lives and He has been faithful in answered their prayers especially for medical support this week.

I know that they count it a priviledged that so many people are walking this journey with them, and the prayers that are offered on their behalf.

Isaiah 54 vs 10 reminds us that even though everything around us seems to be difficult God still loves us and shows us compassion. 'Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfalling love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed. says the the Lord who has compassion upon you" God's love, hope and promises are the one constant in our lives.

Bible Verses - Psalm 23.

Prayer:- Give thanks for Glen and Anne's faithful witness of God's love, hope and promises. Give thanks that through this fiery furnace we can see God at work. Pray for a restful night for Glen and Anne. Pray for the meeting with the Dr on Tuesday. Pray for the medical staff Glen and Anne meet, that as in 1 Peter 3 they would always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks them the reason for the hope that they have. Pray for Anne as she loves, supports and cares for Glen.

Thursday 26th May - Trust in Him

Good evening we have had a mixed day and will continue to be on our knees praying for the consultancy meeting we are having on Tuesday. Anne has popped out here and there and we also had a visit from the district nurse to see how we are going. The sleeping tablets I have been taking have meant I have been sleeping for most of the day too, therefore we going to stop these so please pray for sleep. I have been stronger physically in lots of ways but still need prayer to sleep well and be able to deal with what every day life brings.

Psalm 13 says 'Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes or I will sleep in death, and my enemy will say 'I have overcome Him" and and my foes will rejoice when I fall. But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord's praise for He has been good to me.' Praise the Lord we can always trust in Him.

Verse for today: Psalm 13

Prayer for today: Pray for sleep and continued strength. Pray for God's will to be done at the meeting on Tuesday and for the right medication to be available. Thank God He is our sustainer and rock. Pray for our families too.

Wednesday 25th May - Praise Him

Good evening we have had a slightly improved day. We both slept well and ended up having 8 hours sleep. We have then taken things slowly and we had a visit from a cancer consultant to see how best to control the pain I have been having. This afternoon I have slept lots, watched TV and generally tried to relax. Anne has once again pottered around the house and looked after me very well. We would really value prayer again for the pain treatment we have been given and for us to sleep well again.

Psalm 9 says 'I will praise you, O Lord, with my whole heart; I will tell of all you marvelous works. I will glad and rejoice in you: I will sing praise to your name, O most high. Have mercy on me O Lord, consider my trouble from those who hate me, You who lift me up from the gates of death. That I may tell of all your praise. In the gates of the daughter of Zion. I will rejoice in your salvation'. We are to sing to the Lord and put our trust in Him. He is our shield and defender and walks with us as our strength.

Verse of the day: Proverbs 3 v 5-7

Prayer of the day: Praise the Lord for all He has done for us and we have a place of refuge in Him. Praise the Lord I have had help to get the pain under control and ask him to continue to aid us in our sleep and physical state. Pray for the drug treatments to be available and for God to open the door(s) He wishes us to walk through. Pray for our families and for the Lord to be their strength. Pray for people to come to faith in Christ.

Tuesday 24th May: Everlasting hope

Good evening we have had a very difficult day and one in which the cancer seemed to really take hold of my body in numerous ways. We both did not sleep well; with us being awake at 1,3,5 and then eventually getting a few hours of sleep at the end. Our community Macmillan nurse came today and has increased my pain relief, she has also arranged for a consultant from the hospice to visit us tomorrow. Hopefully this will help us get the right level of medication, so I am more comfortable. My mum came for the day which was really nice and a good support.

Peter in his first book declares to the world 'Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.' Thank the Lord we have an eternal hope.

Verse for the day: 1 Peter 1:3


Prayer for the day: Please pray for wisdom tomorrow as we review my medication. Pray for sleep this evening and renewed strength for tomorrow. Pray for our families as they walk this difficult road with us.

Monday 23rd May - A move in the right direction

Good evening. We have had a much better day today and one where I am feeling much better and stronger. I slept much better than I have over the last few days and this helped me to be much more refreshed and relaxed when I awoke. I have enjoyed a body strengthening day and friends came around to visit this afternoon. I have also been out for a bit of light retail therapy. Anne has been out here and there and was also entertaining our guests. Praise the Lord I am feeling better just need to be on our knees asking for this blessing to continue.

Paul says in Romans 8 v 28-29 'and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. For God foreknew He also predestined to be conformed the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brothers or sisters. We were chosen by and God and for the service of His name amazing. God loves us so much, even death on a cross.

Verse of the day: 1 John 1 v 4-10

Prayer of the day: Praise the Lord for my return of strength and ask Him for this to continue due to His mercy. Pray for news from the hospital and how we are going to move forwards. Pray for sleep and a continued reliance upon the Lord. Pray for me to be able to lead and go to target camp next week. Pray for the upholding of our families. Pray for us having eyes only for Christ and for Him being the rock on which we build all things.

Sunday 22nd May - Strength for each day

We have had a very difficult day. I awoke after a moderate amount of sleep but yet still felt drained and tired. I have spent most of the day on the sofa falling in and out of consciousness and trying to get some rest. Anne has been to Church and out with friends which she needed and helped with her frame of mind. I have been sick this evening and in pain and so we had to call out the local GP and try and sort out my pain relief, sleep and general physical state.

All this makes life incredibly difficult and hard to deal with each day. Our mind frame is such that we know God is in control but we most certainly don't rely on our strength but that of the Lord. Psalm 20 v 6 says 'Now I know that the Lord saves His anointed; He will answer him from His Holy Heaven with the saving strength of His right hand.' Isaiah 12v2 also declares this saying 'Behold, God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid; for Yahweh, the Lord is my strength and song. He will also become my salvation.' We have to trust even in the depths of despair as He is the only strength we need or will help.

Verse of the day: 2 Corinthians 1 v 1-5

Prayer of the day: Praise the Lord His strength allows us to walk through the darkest valley and to see our salvation. Pray for the cancer to be healed from my body and for the Lord to restore it to its former state. Pray for our bodies to be physically upheld and to be made stronger by the hand of the Lord. Pray for sleep. Pray for our families and for the Lord to be their strength also.

Saturday 21st May - The love of God

Good evening. It has been a day of what you would call rest. I did not sleep well last night at all once again getting just 4 hours sleep and so making my body feel very rough. This meant I took a sleeping tablet resulting in sleeping from about 1pm until 7 on and on and somehow when your body gets the rest it has to feel worse before it gets better. Anne has caught up with people on the phone and well generally been amazing looking after me. Please can you pray for both of these issues as they do prevent us from doing so much, especially sleep.

1 John 4 v 16-17 says 'and so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love, lives in God and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we may have confidence on the day of judgement: in this world we are like Jesus. In all things if we have the love of God we need not fear and can have confidence in Christ our Lord.

Verse of the day: Romans 8 v 38-39

Prayer of the day: Pray for sleep and for me to be physically well enough to complete each day. Pray for us to know more about the treatment and for God's will in it all. Pray for our families and how they deal with the news. Pray for our hearts to look to Christ in all things.

Friday 20th May - Merciful Prayer

Good evening. We have had what has probably been in some ways the hardest day in this process so far. I did not sleep to the best standard only getting 5 hours sleep due to back pain. This then had knock on effects on Anne and how my body coped when I awoke. We have rested this morning and completed some menial tasks around the house. Anne has been to Bridge to sort out camp areas and meet with a friend. I had an afternoon to catch up TV. Late in the afternoon we received a call from the hospital. This was to inform us that most of the doors being pushed to gain the drugs needed have been closed and they were not sure if any of them would be opened, so Mr Heggarty there may be no options left.

This left us a bit drained and battered but there is still hope! Your probably sat their saying, what! What hope! Well pick up the word of the Lord and from Genesis to Revelation there is hope and it NEVER fades. 1 Corinthians 13 says 'and now these 3 remain; faith, hope and love...' 2 Corinthians then says 'therefore we do not lose heart, though outwardly we are wasting away yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all'. We have an amazing hope in our Lord Jesus Christ and this life which is but a blink of an eye and so points to their being so much more.

We have a sovereign and mighty God who is able to do so much more that we can imagine. Philippians 4 says 'do not be anxious for NOTHING but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let you requests be made known to God, and the peace of God, which passes all understanding , will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.' Acts 1 says 'they all continued with one accord in prayer and supplication, with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus and with His brothers'. All through the process I have struggled to know what God's will for myself is. But I do know His will is for me to follow Him all the days of my life and for us to continue to pray in our situation. I will be praying for the doors the hospital are still pushing to be opened, if God's will and I will also be on my knees petitioning for the mercy of the Lord. Can I ask you to do the same? I am not worth it but please as the Lord hears the cries of His people.

Verse of the day: Romans 15 v5-6



Prayer of the day: Praise the Lord for the heavenly hope we have that does not perish, fade or spoil. Pray we may live each day as it comes. For the peace, strength and Holy spirit to be with us at all times and directing us to the Lord. Pray for the couple of doors the hospital has left to push (if His will!) to be opened or for the mighty hand of Christ to take this disease from me. For our physical and mental state to be upheld enough to cope with the news we have heard. Pray for our families as they will feel helpless and downbeat also and pray for them to look to the Lord for strength. Pray for people to come to Christ because of our situation.

Thursday 19th May - He hears us

Good evening. We have had a really nice day and another one where on the whole I have been well. I slept well again which meant I awoke a lot fresher than I have previous days. My dad then came for a visit in which we had a walk around the docks, went for lunch and generally caught up, which was a real blessing. We have then both relaxed this afternoon, with me having an afternoon nap and Anne gardening. We have then had a peaceful evening enjoying the free time we have. God is answering prayer every day as I am sleeping better, we have a peace and are trusting in His word.

1 John 5 v 11-15 says 'and this is the testimony, that God gave us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life.I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God that you may know that you have eternal life. And this is the confidence that we have toward Him, that if we ask anything according to His will He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of Him'. God never leaves our side and He carries us when life becomes too hard. He hears our petitions toward Him and God's will is always the best for our lives.

Verse for the day: 1 John 3 v 14

Prayer of the day: Praise the Lord He wants to hear our thoughts and requests and that we have a personal relationship with Him. Pray for God's mighty hand to take the cancer from my body and restore it to full health. Pray for our bodies to be physically well and to sleep really well most nights. Pray we will hear from the hospital soon and God will guide us through His will. Pray for our families and for God's strength to be their strength and their peace to be from God.

Wednesday 18th May - Relationship

Good evening. We have had a really great day but one which some people who read of it will not understand why. I slept really well last night and got 8 hours sleep. We have therefore been able to do so much more. Trips to the shops, cook tea, have visitors and enjoy each others company so much more. By the end of the day though the devil has entered for the last couple of hours. I feel like I have been thrown off a cliff and I am trying to get to the top and just can't see a way there.

You can become incredibly selfish and just focus on the cancer going and you living the life you want to lead. God does not dish out cancer or say we do not love him lets give Him AIDS. God is not a punitive God but one who walks with His people and gives them peace and strength beyond human capacity. David is such a powerful bible character because he loves the Lord so much but yet wrestles with the injustice he believes he witnesses. In psalm 95 v1 he says 'come let us sing joy for the Lord; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation'. Go back one Psalm though and in v3 he enquires of the Lord 'How long, Lord will the wicked, how long will the wicked be jubilant?' David though is the greatest human king the Israelites had and He loved the Lord with all his heart. He says in Psalm 18 v 2 'The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; my God, my strength in whom I will trust; my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold'.


Being a Christian is an amazing gift and one which is a relationship. God is in relations with us and we have to open our heart fully to experience this amazing gift. Whatever God's will is for my life, we can cling to the truths His word provides and the love a personal relationship brings. Once again thank you for all your prayers and support but most importantly if you are reading this blog and don't 'know' Him, make every effort to do so. I am more than happy to answer questions on nofearindeath@hotmail.co.uk and ask people around you as life may be shorter than we all expect.

Verses of the day: 1 John 1 v 4-10

Prayer of the day: Praise the Lord for all He has done and that we can have that personal relationship with Him. Pray for the Lord to heal the cancer from my body and restore my body to full health. Pray we seek the Lord all the days of our lives and we will know His vital presence. Continue to pray for sleep, rest and my body's physical state. Pray for God to continue to minister to our families and friends. For those who seek the Lord that He shall be found and for them to find a biblical church.

Tuesday 17th May - Our current sufferings

Good evening. We have had a good day overall. I did not sleep well again, just getting 2/3 hours. This meant the morning had to be used for recovery to try and restore my body. After lunch, I have completed some Target camp tasks and we went for a walk around the block too. We are having tea and are then spending the evening relaxing in our house. Within our situation the person who has the hardest time is the person looking on (wife, parent, relative), these are the people who need the most prayer and I would ask for this now regarding our situation.

Paul was a very wise man seen as a well respected intellect of his day. He also has been given such biblical wisdom and you can just imagine his face as He is telling this to people. You know Paul loves the Lord. This is no more evident than in Romans. He says in Ch8 v16 - 18 'the spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs - heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with Him in order that we may also be glorified with him. For I consider that the present sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed in us'.

There are some amazing truths in this passage such as we are co-heirs with Christ. Us viewed by God in the same light as Christ and we are glorified because of the cross and love of our Lord. Paul had such a longing for eternal life. I was listening to a preacher the other day and he said Paul must have been the devil's nightmare. In prison, an earthquake happens and Paul brings the jailer to Christ, chained to a roman solider and so Paul tells him the gospel all day. Paul is in prison and he prays for the advancement of the gospel, he is beaten, whipped and eventually killed. All the way through He loved the Lord and stood for the gospel.

Thank you for all your prayers, they mean so much and are a real blessing and comfort to us both.

Verse of the day: Philippians 1 v 3-5

Prayer of the day: Praise the Lord we are co-heirs with Christ and the glory to come is greater than the suffering we endure on earth. Pray for God to heal the cancer from my body and He would hear our cries for His mercy. Pray for my sleep, that I would overcome my anxiety of needing sleep and rest. Pray for my body to be upheld, specifically my back and stomach. Pray for our families to be strengthened by the Lord and for Him to provide a peace that passes all understanding. Pray for us all to grow in our knowledge and love of God.