Today has been a hard day in some ways. I enjoyed meeting a friend this morning and then Anne's mum came to take us out for lunch. I slept OK but was awake from 6am this morning but have felt physically OK today. Within our situation the slightest thing can seem so hard at times. My biggest fears are not having children, leaving Anne and actually doing God's work and being a patriarch for His kingdom. All these seemed to rush over and take over me today and I just wanted to have a day without having to deal with this.
I love reading the Psalms as David bears his heart before the Lord even when he struggles. Within Psalm 13 David says 'How long Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long must you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes or I will sleep in death and my enemy will say I have overcome him and my foes rejoice when I fall'. David is honest before the Lord, he feels lost and wants the Lord to speak to him and settle his thoughts.
David though in the rest of the Psalm proclaims that he trusts the Lord and sings His praise. It says 'But I trust in your unfailing love: my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord's praise for He has been good to me. ' David rejoices in the Lord and says I rejoice in your salvation. However hard our situation becomes I know that I have the salvation of the Lord.
Thank you for all your prayers, support and love.
Verse for the day: Psalm 13
Prayer for the day: Pray for the Lord to continue to be our rock and fortress. For us to continue to trust in the Lord and rejoice in His salvation. Pray for wisdom in our treatment options and for me to be physically upheld. Pray for our families that the Lord would minister to them and strengthen them at this difficult time. Pray for sleep and for the brain scan that will take place within the next 2 weeks.
My heart and soul bleed for your inevitable difficult days, Glen. That said, were envy not a deadly sin, I would be envious you for being wide awake from only 6 a.m. I can barely remember such civilised luxury. For several weeks now our youngest and smallest dog (Dot the demonic delinquent) has been deciding exponentially early that it is time to get up. For such a little thing, God has definitely endowed her with the talent of a voice that travels and penetrates!
ReplyDeleteI spend a great deal of time imagining the fear and dread of earthly separation that must play on your mind and Anne's, together with the tragic possibility that you might never be parents. I pray that our Almighty Father shares my conviction that giving you the salvation to do so, and to continue your teaching career will ensure that you best continue to do His work as a truly inspirational patriarch of God's kingdom. T xxxxxxx
Love you both - Psalm 8.
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